I had my annual checkup, and my family doctor was concerned because my PSA had risen from 3.2 last year to 5.9 this year, so he sent me to a urologist. He found a swollen prostate and did a biopsy. This was three days after my 63rd birthday, and happy birthday to me.

He had told me that there was a 20, 25 percent chance it was cancer, but when he confirmed it, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I looked at all the options, and it was too aggressive for cryotherapy, too widespread for seeds (of the 10 samples, 4 on the east coast turned up positive, but so did one way out in Salt Lake City). That left radiation or surgery. I chose surgery because I wanted to make sure the treatment got it all, and in the event of a recurrence, I felt that it would be more easily found after surgery than after radiation.

I chose to go to Vanderbilt to have it done, and Dr. Smith of the urological surgery dept. will be my doctor. He's doing robotic surgery -- he has done 3,000 of the procedures -- and it is scheduled for next month.

This experience has been a real roller coaster, but I'm convinced I chose the right treatment. I know what the drawbacks are, but I ain't scared of pee and I know I can work out any ED problems.

There are two positives about this sorry experience: I now know how much I truly love my wife, and I'm amazed at the kindness of strangers.

I had my surgery over a week ago, on Dec. 13. The surgeon was Dr. Joseph Smith, head of the urological surgery department at Vanderbilt in Nashville, TN.

Complications were few -- nausea in the recovery room kept me there for a while, and waiting for a hospital bed took longer. I was home the next day with six holes in my belly and a catheter. Dr. Smith called yesterday, Dec. 20, with the path report, and told me my cancer was less severe and less widespread than thought from my biopsy. The Gleason was 3+3 (the biopsy had shown a 3+4), the margins were clear, and it had not spread beyond the prostate.

I will return in January for the six-week checkup, at which time a PSA will be done, but Dr. Smith told me he believed I was cured. That was the word he used, and he also told me he wished he could give all his patients such news. He wished me a Merry Christmas.

On a more mundane note, I was told to wear briefs because my scrotum would be swollen and tender. I was expecting balls the size of cantaloupes, but it didn't happen; I still was wearing briefs because I had been advised to. The tenderness went away in a couple of days, and after 3 or 4 days, I quit wearing the briefs because the underwear was pulling on the catheter tube and leading to a lot of discomfort. I'm now going commando and wearing loose lounge pants and being very, very careful around dogs and children. (P.S. Don't even think about erections.)

The catheter comes out two days after Christmas. I know the journey has just begun, and I'm well aware of the difficulties that may lie ahead, but I'm confident I'll surmount them as well.

Thank you for letting me tell my story.

I went down to Vanderbilt for my six-week post-surgery checkup Jan. 27, and the test came back with PSA undetected. The doctor seemed very pleased with my progress on both incontinence and ED. I will have another PSA test in 6 months, and I'm hoping for the same findings.

On the incontinence front, I'm using women's thin pads and having accidents maybe once a day. I tend to leak only when I'm extremely tired, when my bladder is extremely full -- I'm still having trouble telling when it is full -- or when something disturbs my pelvic floor muscles (farting, wiping my butt or even a towel when drying off). The latter is fast improving, though, and the doctor said I probably will be past the incontinence in a couple of months. I'm doing Kegels again, which I credit for a speedy recovery. On this subject, I'd like to tell men that they have to learn to pay attention to their bodies -- something men are not used to doing. But if you identify what causes problems, it helps you learn to cope. And if you are considering surgery, start Kegels right now.

On the ED front, I told the doctor I was getting longer and thicker, but with no appreciable stiffness. Again, he thought I was doing great. I'm using ED drugs and just got a vacuum pump. That and the accompanying rings can give me some semblance of normal sex, and I'm doing my best to work on it to return to normal. Things obviously won't be what they were, but in some respects, they seem to be better. The doctor cautioned me not to get discouraged, but so far I'm having fun with my new organ.

Any questions? Just ask.

I went in for my 6-month checkup, and found I had a hernia as a result of the surgery, but no guts are actually falling out, and my urologist said to have something done about it when it gets painful. So I've put it on my Medicare to-do list (I'm 63) and hope it won't need treatment before then.

Otherwise, my PSA is zip, I'm still a little incontinent, and while I'm doing better than I expected in the ED department, I'm not doing as well as I would like.

As far as the incontinence goes, I tend to leak a little when I'm really tired, but that's about it. I'm not wearing anything for it. I also leak when I press on my butt muscles, like when I'm drying off after a shower. But I know it's going to happen and I take steps. Otherwise, things are fine.

I'm taking drugs and using a pump for the ED. A quarter of a Cialis at night (well, more like a third), and Viagra if I'm planning on doing anything recreational. I use the pump several times a week, down from twice daily. My length seems to have been restored, at least when I use the pump, and the girth is greater than it used to be, too. For recreational purposes, I use Viagra, the pump and a ring. When I first started this, as soon as I got the pump about 6 weeks after surgery, it didn't feel exactly like the appendage belonged to me; it was cold and mostly numb, but lately it has gotten warmer and has more sensation. I'm having the occasional morning erection and occasionally I'll wake up in the night with one. I've even had a spontaneous one in the daytime. They're not great and back in the old days I'd have dismissed such a lame attempt, but now I welcome them.

I asked the doctor about injections, and he said (and I agreed) that I was making good progress without them.

Next up: Another PSA in 3 months, another checkup with my urologist in 6 months.

I had my 18-month checkup this week, and I'm still cancer-free and doing better with the side-effects. I'm mostly continent now, and the only time I have pee trouble is when I'm very, very tired or sick. And that is just isolated dribbling, and in the grand scheme of things, the occasional wet spot is no big deal. My urologist said I was ahead of the curve on that one.

As far as erectile dysfunction goes, I can function OK with just Viagra instead of Viagra, a pump and a cock ring. That puts a little spontaneity into it, at least. I still have problems sustaining an erection for a long period of time, but that's improving too. I'm having nighttime erections and morning ones, as well as an occasional spontaneous erection. I'm continuing to take a third of a Cialis on a regular basis for rehab and Viagra for recreational purposes. I had ED before surgery, so I'm accustomed to the drug regimen. I've pretty much quit using the pump, because my dick's about as long as it was before surgery when it's erect. And a little girthier, I think, perhaps because of the pump. In that regard, I may go back to the pump on a regular basis. As far as erectile recovery goes, my urologist said I was doing better than many with that, too.

One conclusion I've reached since starting this and after talking to a lot of survivors is that it is really important to discuss penile rehab with your doctors beforehand. I had my surgery at Vanderbilt, and the regimen they laid out was excellent. But I've talked to a lot of men who after surgery were sent home with, "OK, you're cured," and that was that. One gentleman even asked me what the pump was for and should he use one, and this was two years after his surgery. So before you let someone treat you, find out how he proposes to help you deal with the aftereffects.

I'm available to answer any questions, and I welcome comments.

The incontinence has mostly disappeared, though who would have thought that drinking large quantities of iced tea before bedtime would cause nighttime leaking? But I'm from the South, and I drink the tea anyway.

The ED is still a work in progress, though I no longer need to use a pump to achieve an erection, just pills. Those, I'm sure I'll always need. The progress on this front has been sporadic: I'll gain, then plateau for a few months, then gain some more. I believe the nerves are mostly back, though I would have said the same a few months ago, and things improved after that -- more sensation, longer duration. Who knows how long it will take or what the final result will be? I certainly don't, though the journey has been interesting and delightful at times. If spontaneous erections are the goal, I've had a few (and I still want to collar people and say, "Look! A hard-on!"). I still look forward to more.

I still have no regrets and I'm still comfortable with the choices I made.

It has been 11 years since surgery, and I am now 74 and pretty much limp, though still orgasmic. I was doing well in the rehab, able to get hard enough to stick it in and rummage around and pleasure my wife, but she started having problems and we went a year without vaginal sex, just doing oral. Then after her hysterectomy, she basically lost interest. I had ED long before the surgery, and was having horrific side-effects from Cialis, and Viagra, too, so I pretty much called it quits. My urologist offered treatment, but my wife didn't like the idea of shots, so I said no thanks. But. I still have orgasms, they can be thunderous, mostly when jacking off (though my wife and I still go at it occasionally). Sensitivity fades in and out, like an AM radio station late at night. I'm happy.

Michael's e-mail address is: gbeardnew AT gmail.com (replace "AT" with "@")