In 2014 I had got staph from a back surgery was when I first stated getting sick. Treated at home with strong antibiotic for six months to control the strain of infection I had. Got myself on my feet once again on May 2 2016 went to shore with my family. I started having urination issues, thought I had another infection from hip surgery six months earlier in the year. Doctor treated me for three weeks for kidney stones turned out no kidney stones to be found, no keep in mind I have went for yearly physicals and blood-work for previous surgeries but no PSA testing. I am 53 years old. Well this time they gave me a PSA, turned out to be 267. They told me I had prostate cancer. I was shocked along with my family. The Urologist started me on Hormone therapy shots. PSA on August 1 2016 down to PSA level of 26, I start chemo on August 5 2016.
Went for my first dose of chemo with Taxotere on August 4th 2016 second day no side effects yet to complain of understanding my blood-work levels will take a plunge soon. Will report on this at that point.
It's one day after chemo wife took children to the shore for couple days. I'm fine with it. I slept most of the night she left at 600pm. It's Saturday, I am alone depression starting to set in. I realize this is the first time I have been by myself in 20 years. I'm scared of the thoughts in my mind. I'm scared of dying. My brother in law breaks up the thought by spending time with me. Wife calls every other hour to check in with me. I get very little sleep. It's Sunday morning, I awake all I do is cry. I cant even talk to anyone with out sobbing. My wife gets children packed up and comes home to me. I feel bad. Monday doctor takes me off Wellburtion. I settle some, Tuesday wife takes all children out of house for day. When I awake to go for bloodwork, I'm running a fever. Sat in ER rest of day to find I have brhconoist now on antibiotics Z-pack. It's 530 I go to bed.
Today 08/24/2016 I will be getting my chest port in my body. On the 26th I will receive my second round of chemo.
Seven days after second chemo with taxadora, getting little strength back, no appetite for food, sick, nausea, short with my family, children, very forgettable as they call it chemo brain. My poor wife bless her she tries to do it all with home, children, and keeping me straight, looking at calendar and next chemo is September 15, 2016 cant wait. Depression is the worst can't seem to shake it but I won't take Wellbutrin, it makes me feel worse.
I'm sitting here feeling like suffer with side effects of hormones and taxotere. Is it worth it or is what's left of life be better without all of this? My stomach hurts from the shots, I feel like someone set a bomb off in my insides. I am tired but most of all, I want to know why me why the others where is the cure for all of this? I understand at stage 4 no cure, but is 18 months worth the effects of chemo? I watch my wife and children suffering with the thoughts of unknown, and I see them hurting not knowing what to do for me. I hate this! I ask my wife what to do, she breaks down. Without treatment it progresses with pain, with treatments more months are promised with pain and no quality of having a life I was used to before this hit me. I have no desire, no strength to do as I wish. I'm only 53 maybe if I was another 20 years older I could handle this but I still have 5 children under 15 to finish raising I need to be healthy to do this. My children homeschool. We were going to travel this year as they took classes, so we could hunt and fish in other parts of the US. So many plans have gone up in dust. Back in May 2016 when we were slapped in the face of 4th stage prostate cancer out of the blue, how could a healthy man who visit the doctors regular did what I needed to do as far as physicians appointments now find myself worrying every day? How much time do I have left with my family and how much sicker will I get before it's over? Makes me wonder if treatment is worth it by extending life by maybe months.
It's the day after Thanksgiving my last chemo session was on November 17, 2016 this was the last of 8 rounds, my PSA is down from 265 to 5.8 after having Xgeva and hormone therapy Trelstar every three months now. My official diagnosis on November 17 is Primary Malignant Neoplasm of Prostate Secondary malignant Neoplasm of bone, I have been blessed with Anemia, nausea, and super fatigue. I have a good doctor though Dr. Hyatt Degreen of Lancaster Cancer Center, Lancaster PA. I am gaining some weight back, do have an appetite now and then. I'm keeping the Faith that I will be here on Earth for next 10 years to see my 6 year old grow up, just now trying to make the holidays for the family at home 5 children ages 6, 7, 12, 14, and 15 keeping my fingers crossed and my wife is a great support system.
Well here Iam again after the chemo break of Taxtore, I had a break from November 12, till now. Back last month I was told PSA; had risen from 5.7 to 7.9 today I was told that my PSA; is now 16.2 and that I need body scans to see where my cancer has traveled and set place at now in the body. I am depressed scared and losing Faith all at one time. My wife is very depressed; even though she is a strong woman this has taken her down. My children and as that goes We have 10 all together are just starting to find out that the cancer is kicking back, I don't know if I am strong enough for more chemo the last wiped me out. On the 14th body scans on the 21 of the month Dr. Degreen will let me know results and how to go to war with this again hoping I got what it takes to beat this prayers to all my fellow brothers in this war and hope you may be one to overcome this disease, until the next time in two weeks after talk with my doctor
Edward's e-mail address is: email@example.com